You are my family
by Khordealis
Summary: A letter brings tears to Kuchiki Rukia's eyes. A letter asking for forgiveness. Can she forgive the person who have caused her so much pain? Or is it just too late?


**Disclaimer:** I do **not** own Bleach, nor any of it's characters. This is written for pure entertainment.

This is just a quick one shot of Rukia's relation to her cold brother. About hope, and forgiveness. It probably sucks, but here you go.

"_These words that I write with a shaking hand in the deep silence of the night, will they even matter to you?_

_I think not. For them to matter I am many years too late. _

_But I shall give them to you none the less, offer some sort of excuse for my vile behaviour. It is pathetic and perhaps even cowardly to offer you that through a letter. A simple piece of paper that can not tell you of the emotions running across this mask of a face, that can not tell you the tone of my voice or the sincerity in it._

_It is painful for me to write these words down, for they force me to see things, the past and the present alike, in a way that I have not dared before. It took a person close to us both to make me face my own wrongdoings. It was a shocking revelation, and a painful one._

_I took you in to my family and my life as a way to keep a promise to one whom I loved. I failed to see beyond that. It pained me for a long time to even look at you, for your face is a perfect replica of hers. You look like she would have looked, had she not been marked by illness. I closed my pain deep within me, and by doing so I made my first mistake. I forgot how to look upon you as a person. I gave you a name and wealth, yes, but a family? In its' truest sense? No. Not in any way._

_And by failing to give you that, I also failed not only you, but the one whom I promised to take care of you. I can not even begin to imagine how utterly humiliating it must have been to live with me and my cold heart for all this time. You call me brother, yes, but only because it is expected of you. Not at all because you look at me that way. I realize that now. I am not in any way worthy of such honor. The man who forced me to see things clearly, he is your brother in every way that matters. He would set aside everything for you. He proved that when you were sentenced to death all those years ago. But I, who should have protected you, who should have stood by your side as it was my duty as your brother to do, I did not. I took it upon myself to end your life. It sickens me now, the memories of it all. How easily I was fooled by what I thought to be my duties. How could I ever have looked upon her picture again if I had your blood, her blood, on my hands?_

_Looking at these letters that I have so carefully scripted I am ashamed of how I fail, even now, to speak to you without involving her. I shall stop this pathetic using of her as a shield to hide behind. You deserve better. I will spill it out in the straight forward way that my fukutaicho does with things._

_I have failed you. I have failed Hisana. I have failed my duties, and my humanity. For that there is no excuse. I will none the less beg for yours. I beg of you, my sister, please forgive me. I will understand if it is impossible. For as I said in the start of this letter, I am most likely many years too late._

_You brought life with you. You brought light in to my darkness, and for that, dear sister, I love you._

_Yes, I mean that. It has dawned on me, finally. You are my family, in all the ways that matters. I can not hope, only wish, for you to one day think of me the same way._

_Forgive me._

_Your brother_

_Byakuya."_

Rukia finished reading the letter. Tears flushed down her cheeks, and she looked up to find Ukitake taicho watching her with worry. He came over and sat down by her side, offering a handkerchief. She quickly wiped the tears from her face, though her eyes were still brimming with the clear liquid. She held the letter close to her chest and a number of feelings flickered over her face. Her taicho remained silent until she looked at him, a shy smile touching her lips.

"Who was it from, Rukia?" he asked. "Why are you crying?"

"Nii-sama," she whispered. "Nii-sama, he's...Forgive me, Ukitake taicho! I must speak to my brother!"

She got on her feet and shunpoed out of the barracks. Ukitake watched her go, wondering what on earth was going on. Young Kuchiki had been crying, but she had smiled. What could that cold man who called himself her brother possibly have written that would make her react that way? She had cried many times before because of him. But never before had she smiled at the same time. Was he toying with her? No, Kuchiki taicho was not that type of man. He was cold as ice, yes, but he wouldn't lower himself to playing with people's feelings. If he disliked you, he would let you know in his own distant and chilly way. But if Kuchiki Rukia was hurt again, he would personally see to it that it never happened again. And he was not the only one. The youngest Kuchiki sibling was loved by so many people. And their patience with her brother's way of treating her was running thin. Frowning, he decided to investigate.

On the way there he ran into the sixth squad's fukutaicho. He looked rather pleased with himself, despite the numerous cuts and bruises on his sharp face.

"Ah, morning, Ukitake taicho," he greeted. "Out for a stroll?"

"Good morning, Abarai fukutaicho," the older man said. "I'm on my way to check on Rukia. Her brother sent her a letter that had her quite upset. Or at least I think. She was crying while reading it, but she smiled when she'd finished."

"So he did send it then, ey?" Abarai said, more to himself than the other man, however Ukitake heard it perfectly.

"Sent what? What's going on?"

Abarai rubbed his chin with a thoughtful expression.

"Nah, I had a slight argument with the taicho about his duties towards her." He pointed to his face. "Hence the cuts and stuff."

"You got in a fight with your own taicho?" Ukitake was shocked. Abarai shrugged.

"I couldn't just stand there and watch her be humiliated day after day. She's my best friend after all."

"So... What did you say?"

"The truth. That he was a friggin' lousy excuse of a family. That she only called him brother because she was forced to, and that she was bloody miserable in that house. And other stuff, that he didn't enjoy hearing."

"Abarai fukutaicho, You are the bravest man I ever met," Ukitake admired. The redhead shrugged again.

"Rukia's all the family I've got. I can't just sit by and watch her suffer."

Rukia landed in the yard of the Kuchiki manor. The door to her brother's study was open, and she could feel his reiatsu coming from the place where his desk was situated. She could feel the imbalance in it, which was new to her. The elder Kuchiki was, unlike her, always perfectly balanced. With a lump in her throat she walked up to the door and knocked on the frame. She heard his voice, low and a lot less icy than she was used to, allow entry.

He had his back towards her. He was not wearing his uniform, he probably had the day off and had therefor dressed in simple clothes. Or, as simple as they could be for a man of his status. His hair was not decorated at all. His posture was not the straight, proud one she was used to. Instead his shoulders were sunken, he looked defeated somehow. That scared Rukia more than his usual disapproving expression ever would.

After a moment she realized that she was staring and quickly approached the slender man by the desk. A few feet away she stopped and sat down on the floor. As he slowly turned to face her, she bowed down, letting her forehead touch the floor. She could hear a sigh, and the soft, crisp noise of moving fabric, and suddenly a pair on slim hands gripped her shoulders and pulled her back up to a sitting position. She kept her eyes on the floor, still afraid that he would be distant and cold, scolding her for being weak by letting new tears run down her pale face.

"Rukia," he said. The voice was not cold, only tired and regretful. "Look at me."

Shivering she looked up. The steel colored eyes expressed the same feelings as his voice. She had never seen such naked emotion in the regal face before.

"N-Nii-sama..." she started, but stopped speaking when she was suddenly wrapped in his arms and cradled like a little child. His body was warm, and it felt so safe being there.

"Forgive me," he whispered.

Rukia held the letter tighter. Emotions and thoughts rushed through her head. Memories of the pain of being in his care, but knowing that he did not care. Of all the timed she'd been scolded for minor mistakes. The horrible time when he was going to kill her to make sure that her death sentence was carried out. The revelation that Kuchiki Hisana had been her sister. The ways he had protected her since then, as cold as always. She had truly felt that he did it only because she shared his family name and that he was simply performing his duty. Then a line from the letter echoed in her mind. A hand reaching for her heart, with a sincerity and pain she never thought she'd hear from him. An honest plea for her forgiveness.

"_You brought light in to my darkness, and for that, dear sister, I love you."_

Kuchiki Byakuya never said anything that he didn't mean. She knew that.

She buried her tear soaked face against his chest and felt him hold her tight.

"I forgive you, Byakuya Nii-sama," she whispered. "I forgive you."


End file.
